The Tree

Used to be, when I was a much younger women, we had no less than 6 decorated trees in our house. One year we had 8 trees and I put them all up in a tree-decorating frenzy that lasted 3 days. That was also the week I left one of the kids in the church nursery and didn't realize she wasn't in the car until I pulled into the driveway at home.

I was a little distracted with visions of Christmas trees dancing in my head.

I used to put a tree in each of the kids bedrooms, in the living room, in the sun room, in the kitchen...every where I could stick one, I did. And each one had it's own theme. Plus I used to try something new each year with our main family tree although it never seemed to work out...

I tried the all snowman tree but I couldn't keep it from melting and shorting out the lights...the all-one-color tree but the Grinch green tree I put up made everyone nauseous...the skinny tree but I resented it...the upside down tree but every time I went into the family room, I felt the need to walk scrunched over with my arms out for balance.

(Da-Dum-Dum...applause, applause...
"Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!")

We've had live trees and artificial ones too. We've bought them at grocery stores and in parking lots. We've cut them down at Christmas tree farms and once inherited a 1960's model from Mark's parents. We've gotten a few half off on the day after Christmas sale and we've had one that cost more than my present to Mark that particular year. (I didn't hear the guy in the flannel hat with the toothpick in his mouth correctly...I thought he said $65, not $25...and he apparently thought the extra $40 I handed him was a tip).

This year I lost the battle between getting another live tree or buying a fancy pre-lit tree. We've had a live one the last few years but after hearing the kiddos gripe about having to put lights on the tree for the umpteenth time, I caved and sent Hayden off on the blackest of days to buy one on sale. A Martha Stewart tree no less. Fancy-schmancy.

I'm actually looking forward to having an artificial tree this year because we always seem to have problems when we have a live tree. There always seems to be some leaning involved. We usually have the tree pretty straight starting off, but as the weeks roll by, the leaning becomes more and more pronounce. Except last year, we started out leaning.

Here the menfolk are, trying to fix last year's leaning problem.

And the fact that after the first week we never water it again probably has something to do with the leaning as well. That's always been Hayden's job, to water the tree.

Thankfully that hasn't been his job when it comes to our pets.

So our ONE new Christmas tree has been purchased, assembled and is currently residing upright in our sun room. It's waiting to be decorated this evening with some special ornaments from years past and a few new ones, including this little gem I got in the mail just today.

It's an ornament from the restaurant my baby brother is obsessed with, he goes there everyday for coffee.

We'll put it next to our Dunkin' Donuts ornament.

The Blackest of Days

So I don't do Black Friday. Never. Ever.

Okay, once.

A couple of years ago I wanted a laptop and I guess I wanted it so badly that I temporarily lost my senses. But in the midst of my lack of clear thinking I did have one moment of clarity. I was determined that I was not going to go in the middle of night and stand in line for it. Sights like this kept playing over and over in my head...

So I did the next best thing. I asked my husband to go in the middle of the night and stand in line for it. I even offered to make him a thermos of coffee to take with him.

He didn't bite.

I had to go myself but I dug my heels in about going out that night. I had until 11:00 am the next day to get the deal on the laptop so I figured I'd wait. Surely there would be some laptops left. I mean come on, the store is going to stock enough for everyone, right?

Apparently that's not how it works on Black Friday. When I pulled into the parking lot, it looked like a deserted street in a ghost town. Deadly quiet...empty plastic shopping bags rolling around like tumble weeds...a slight humming noise coming from the flickering neon store sign...and the only person in the parking lot was a slightly dazed shopping cart guy, listlessly pushing a mile long line of carts back towards the store.

I started looking around, half expecting to see Clint Eastwood riding through the parking lot at any minute, cigarillo clamped between his teeth with some weird whistling music playing.

"Did they close the store?" I thought to myself. "No, there's the gal ringing the bell at the red kettle. They have to be open."

I walked inside and grabbed a cart (I didn't want to disturb the shopping cart guy, he seemed to get a little agitated the closer he got to the front door of the store). And then I started off to the electronics department. And to my utter shock, the laptop I wanted was sold out. There I stood, looking from shelf to shelf, mouth wide open, muttering to myself, "They're all gone? How can that be?"

Then a sales clerk suddenly appeared out of nowhere, as if an angel. As she glided by me, she said, "Honey, those things were gone in the first 43 seconds." And then as quickly as she had appeared, she was gone. (I later saw her at the snack bar)

So I slowly turned my cart around and headed toward the exit. Defeated, I thought, "Well, I guess I wasn't meant to have that laptop." I made my way through the store, got sidetracked in the yarn department, bought an Icee and headed home.

And as I told my family the story of shopping among the ruins, the sad tale of shopping cart guy, the account of the angelic sales clerk, and the ultimate loss of the new laptop, Taryn said, "Why don't you just go online?"

Ted the UPS guy delivered it to the house the next Tuesday.

A Thanksgiving Eve Poem

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen,

not a pot nor a pan was clean, not even a smidgen.

The dishtowels were hung on the oven handle with care,

in hopes that someone, anyone would wash the dishes if they dare.

As a new box of SOS pads sat snug under the sink;

visions of a clean kitchen danced in my head, I think.

And as I sighed and began to wash the first platter, 

in the family room there arose such a clatter;

I looked up from the bubbles to see what was a matter!

That's when I saw them, one, two and three;

coming into the kitchen to set me free!

They came to the sink and grabbed the bottle of Dawn,

as the suds bubbled up and the hot water was drawn;

"We'll do the dishes tonight, Mother," the youngest spoke,

as his sister took the glass from my hand before it broke.

"Happy Thanksgiving Eve, Mother!"

 I heard them call out as I walked away in surprise, 

"Don't count on this tomorrow, 

we'll be leaving right after dinner for all those great buys!"

Gobble. Gobble. Gobble.

It's not everyone that will show you a picture of the inside of their refrigerator, but because I have no shame and Taryn cleaned it out last week, here goes...

Wowzers, we have entirely too much creamer. Yep, count 'em, 3 extra large big boys. Yikes. But there is a theory as to why we have so much creamer. And that theory is that since it's a holiday, we need to be prepared in case of an emergency. Like buying extra water and bread before a hurricane strikes. Because you never know when something like this may happen...

It's Thanksgiving morning and as I stumble into the kitchen for the first cup of the day I make a terrifying discovery...

"Oh no! We only have half a bottle of Hazelnut left! And it's Thanksgiving and the store is closed! We won't make it to Friday morning with only half a bottle! We're doomed!"

So I buy extra. And what's up with Mark's industrial size bottle of hot sauce?

There sits this year's turkey on the bottom shelf, trying with all its might to defrost before Wednesday night.

Shopping for our Thanksgiving turkey has always been a bit of an event. My grandmother used to take me, my brother and my cousin to buy our Thanksgiving turkey at Publix every year. Yes, they had Publix back then. It was such a big deal she used to take our picture with the turkey in the checkout lane. We would proudly pose with our 22 pounder on the round turn-table grocery belt as the cashier waited patiently for the flashbulb to go off. It always took a couple of tries.

I went looking for one of those pictures but couldn't find one. Just as well, chances are I'm wearing a pair of plaid pants in them and some things are best left to the imagination.

Hopefully young Tom will be fully defrosted and ready for the oven by Thursday morning. If not, we may have to do to him what we did to his older brother last year...

Muahahahaha!

The Fireplace

One of my favorite things about the holidays is our fireplace. Nothing says "cozy/hot chocolate/twinkle lights/snow covered mountains/turkey dinner filled family" like a fireplace. Just like a picture postcard...*sigh*

We use our fireplace during the holidays if the weather cooperates, which means if the high for the day is below 75 degrees we light her up. Oh the joys of living in Florida during the holidays. I can't tell you how many Thanksgiving meals I've served wearing shorts (which leads me to this piece of sage wisdom I'll pass along, "Never let your guests into the kitchen before the turkey is cooked if you're wearing shorts, they may mistake your white legs for the uncooked turkey's and lose their appetite.")

Back to the fireplace...

So you can imagine my delight when I came home from the office the other day and heard the distinct crackling of a fire! I walked into the kitchen, heard that wonderful popping of oak and turned to look at our fireplace and this is what I saw...

This is our fireplace. All decorated up for the Thanksgiving holiday, with it's pretty autumn garland and family pictures. Lovely. But wait! What's missing? There's no fire...where oh where is that crackling and popping coming from?

Here...

on our TV.

Mark had the day off and I guess he got really bored. So as he was searching Netflix for something to watch he came across "Fireplace for Your Home". I don't know if your familiar with Netflix, but when you pick something to view, you can select what Season or Episode of the television show you want to watch. And "Fireplace for Your Home" has that feature as well. You have two episodes to choose from, "Crackling Fire" and "Crackling Yule Log Fireplace"

He chose Episode 1, just crackling and popping. Episode 2 plays auto tune Christmas carols along with the crackling and popping. And that's where I found him, sitting in his chair in front of the TV fireplace. 

I think if I had a smoke scented candle he might have lit it.

Let's Talk Turkey

Okay, so let's talk turkey. And ham. And mashed potatoes.

This is what's currently on our kitchen white board...

Along side a list of chores, our pet penguin (courtesy of our sweet nephew Cason) regular grocery items and Hayden's work schedule, you'll find our Thanksgiving menu.

It's got 19 things listed. And there's only 7 of us eating together this year.

Suuuueeee-wwweeeee! (that's my pig call)

We made the list this past Sunday after we ate lunch. I was really surprised at the amount of items called out, especially since we had just finished eating. I thought it would be kinda like when you go grocery shopping on a full stomach. You usually stick to the list and don't fill the cart with junk. But apparently that trick doesn't work in our family. Full or empty stomachs, we like our turkey dinner.

Now if you look real close, you'll see a couple of non-traditional dishes listed. Like Taryn's suggestion, she wants egg rolls on Thanksgiving. HOMEMADE egg rolls. She also requested a 10,000 calorie-per-spoonful gingerbread pumpkin parfait that Paula Deen makes which will probably kill us.

Jesse requested corn on the cob, which he said he would also make. Lord, I love my son-in-law.

Kaitlin said she wanted sweet potato fries and then after she heard her husband say he would make the corn, she said she would make the fries. Did I mention I love my son-in-law?

Maybe I can throw the frozen egg rolls in with the fries.

Hayden said he wanted leftovers. Yep, doesn't care what kind of leftovers, he just wants leftovers. Then he went back to his Ipad.

And Mark? Well, he didn't have a specific food that he wanted, he just had a suggestion about the whole meal.

 "Let's not use anything from a can this year!"

Bring on the parfait.

The Christmas Newsletter

Every year I make plans to write a Christmas newsletter. I look at festive letterhead. I think about a pretty font to use. I make a mental list of who to send the newsletter too. I get my cup of hot chocolate and laptop ready and sit down to start our first Christmas family newsletter.

And that's usually when someone walks into the room and hands me the mail.

Over the years we've received lots and lots of Christmas newsletters with wonderful news about weddings, babies, school graduations and the like. And those milestones in life are meant to be shared.

It's the other stuff that I'm talking about in Christmas newsletters. *whispering* thebraggingstuff

And I know me. I know that if I started a Christmas newsletter after reading what comes to our house every year, I would be very tempted to ssssttttrrrrrreeeettttcccchhhh the news from our house.

Hayden wouldn't have a part in the senior play, he'd have the lead.
Taryn wouldn't be volunteering at the nursing home, she'd running the home.
Kaitlin wouldn't be playing a solo at church, she'd be conducting.

Stuff like that.

So that's not what this Christmas newsletter is about. It's what happens around our house during the holidays.

Things like what our family does to prepare for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. How we celebrate, where we go to look at Christmas lights, how many times I'll hear the following..."who drank all the eggnog?" "he gave you that for Christmas?" "I can't believe they didn't send you a Christmas card!"

Precious, tender, heart-warming moments...hope you'll come back!